Baby Howls

Penny is really starting to show her own little personality these days.  Now that she is mobile and is able to sit up on her own her entire life has changed.  She is interested in details.  She spends hours a day just touching things- the brittle carpet, daddy's baby soft hair, the smooth surface on the tray of her highchair.  She just strokes and strokes virtually every new thing that comes her way and you can see her brain working.  I imagine she is most likely cataloging all these new items into the library in her head.  She also has a distinctive laugh, we refer to it as "Penny's Famous Laugh" or "The Howl".  The best way I can describe it is to say that she literally howls.  It is the most adorable thing and she has been doing it since she was about a month and a half old and first started laughing.  I pray she never outgrows it because every time I hear that precious little girl howling I know she is happy, and what is better than the ability to hear your child's delight in such a unique way?

I love her.

First Day of School Eve

Ethan starts first grade tomorrow. Where has the time gone? I feel like just yesterday I was welcoming my little angel into the world. I will never forget the first moment I saw him because it was the most joyful and life changing moment of my life. Its not that having Penelope was any less amazing, but I never knew true love until he looked up at me with those big bright eyes. I think about that moment every time he looks at me now. Ethan saved my life and for that I am eternally grateful to him. He is such a special boy and I am not just saying that because I am his mother. He is insanely smart, funny, has a limitless imagination, he has been able to feel and express empathy since he was practically still a baby, and he is beautiful. I am certain that he is destined for greatness and I am so excited to watch him develop and one day reach that greatness. Everyday I have been given to spend with him is a gift. What more could I possibly want out of life?

30 pounds too many

I am at the end of my rope.

I have been saying this for months but I haven't really done much about it.  I am tired of being overweight.  I don't feel happy, I don't feel healthy, and I certainly don't feel like myself.  I want to be in control again because I feel like it is currently not even in my reach.  It has been hard to keep weight off because first of all I am on limited physical activity due to my pathetic back.  Second, I am extremely bored during the day and to fill the void I eat.  All day.  It is completely unlike me but I've been obsessed with ice cream lately.  I have never had this problem and before this last pregnancy I didn't even have the slightest bit of a sweet tooth.  I liked chocolate when I was about to start my period but that was literally the only time I wanted a decadent dessert.  These days I am constantly piling two scoops of the most ridiculous flavors of ice cream on a cone.  A CONE.  Only people who eat way too much ice cream purchase cones from the grocery store.  Whether its smores, drumstick(this one is amazing), double fudge brownie, rocky road, coconut pineapple, plain old chocolate, half-baked, chunky monkey, or new york super fudge chunk flavor I am on it as soon as I feel like it is a decent time of the day to be eating dessert.  Some alcoholics try to wait until noon to have a drink so they can convince themselves like they have the slightest bit of control.  Ice creamaholics (like myself) do the same.

I need to get a handle on these unhealthy habits because I am only hurting myself.  I've been teetering between 160 and 165 for months.  I am hoping to be under 160 in a week.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.